Gertrude Weaver |
Country music is known for telling it like it is. Here's some verified song titles to get your day going: Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts Of Life; Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure; How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?; How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?; I've Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral; I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling; I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me; I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.; I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You; I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!; I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win; I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life; If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low; If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will; If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?; Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head); My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart; My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him; She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart; Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone; They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out; Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart; When You Leave, Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In; You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd; You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat; You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly; Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares. And, my all time favorite: I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line.
There were many more but those ought to be enough to bring someone out there a chuckle or two. I've actually heard a number of those songs. I have. I did see a cartoon that depicted Mozart in his bed. He had a vision of the future of music and saw Hee Haw's skit doing pickin and grinnin. According to the notation he then gave up all hope. Confession time. We still watch reruns of Hee Haw. No. I'm not worried that it will lower my IQ. It's a little too late to be concerned about that one. That one left the barn a long time ago. The show can be irritatingly silly bordering on stupid, but, there's some pretty good musical presentations buried in there, and we do enjoy them. I would appreciate you keeping it quiet about us watching those reruns on RFD-TV because if it got out I could easily have my name put on some kind of government watch list. You know what I am talking about. I could easily be confused with those radicals that tend to cling to God/religion and their guns. I do hope I qualify for the clinging to God category. That's not a bad list to be on. Take care, enjoy, and may God bless each one. Amen. ...More later.
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