Monday, March 7, 2016

"Writing is like sewing together what I call these 'buttons,' these bits and pieces." ~ Sandra Cisneros, Novelist

Thanks so much for dropping by today. Why don't you pull up a chair and let's visit while we enjoy our morning coffee? It's good to be able to send out a hearty hello on this back to work Monday, March 7, 2016. Sometimes we say and do things without thinking. Like the young woman who told her friend that she looked so cute pregnant that she should stay that way all the time. Do what? One fellow kidding about socialist Bernie Sanders' run for President threw this one out for consideration, "Teach a man how to fish and he will still vote for the guy who gives him a free fish." A wealthy fellow came up with this jewel, "When life gives you lemons order up some lobster tails." One reported this conversation from the movie theater snack bar. The young lady asked for a popcorn but was told the popper was broken. The young man said, "How about a hot dog instead?" The young lady said, "Okay, give me a hot dog", to which the young man replied, "Sorry we are out of hot dogs." I also read about a professional photographer who was asked to work on a family photo that had been found. The lady wondered if he could move the cow in the picture so she could see what her great grandfather looked like. The airport is always good for one as well. Screener: "Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge?" Traveler: "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" Screener: "That's why we always ask."

Have you ever listened closely to the weather people when they talk? It sounds like they have a lot to do with what is going to happen: "Our forecast is calling for . . . We're going to keep the winds in the east. I think we'll take it back into the 90s. We'll keep it cloudy for Saturday. We've got cloudy skies out there for you this morning. About mid-afternoon we'll bring in those showers. We're going to heat it up . . . We'll have southwest winds for you. We're going to keep the highs below average this morning. I've upped the snowfall accumulation totals. We'll warm things up a bit for you. We will increase the chance of rain tomorrow. And then a little later on, we'll bring in that cold front. We're going to throw some wind into the mix as well. We finally got the storms to calm down around 3:00 A.M. We're going to turn up the heat around here the next few days. We'll keep the highs below ninety.. . . as we crank up the wind. We have clear skies out there for you this morning. We'll take you up to ninety degrees on Saturday." We used to say, "I don't know weather. The meteorologist knows." Now we say, "I don't know whether the meteorologist knows." I know I pick on the weather prognosticators a lot. They are easy targets. But, it's mostly just for fun. Mostly. (This little snippet was adapted from an unattributed piece I found on the internet.)

It doesn't take much to mess up your message. I read about Al Gore making a speech during his campaign to be President. His speechwriter had said something about Al's favorite Bible verse trying to promote his faith. The writer accidentally put it down as John 16:3 instead of John 3:16. Those checking the speech didn't know enough about the Bible to notice the error. Mr. Gore didn't catch it when he read from the teleprompter. Anyone who took the time to look up his stated favorite verse would have found these words, "And these things they will do to you because they have not known the Father nor Me." Here's a little anonymous ditty I found that talks about the unemployment situation: "Joe Smith started the day early, having set his alarm clock (made in Japan) for 6:00 a.m. While his coffee pot (made in China) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (made in Hong Kong). He put on a dress shirt (made in Sri Lanka), designer jeans (made in Singapore), and tennis shoes (made in Korea). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (made in India), he sat down with his calculator (made in Mexico), to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (made in Taiwan), to the radio (made in India), he got in his car (made in Germany) and continued his search for a good-paying job. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (made in Brazil), poured himself a glass of wine (made in France), and turned on his TV (made in Indonesia), then wondered why he can't find a good-paying job in America." I see my readers are all giving me the cut sign, therefore, I suppose it's time to say goodnight Gracie. At least for today. May God bless each one. Amen. .....More later.

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