Thursday, March 10, 2016

“The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.” ― Tom Bodett, the guy from the 'We'll leave the light on for you' commercials.

All I can say is that I am very happy to have made it to the ole blogger ranch today. I did drive through some water over the road but it wasn't too deep. I actually took an alternate route but it too had water as a result of these soaking rains. Relieved is a good word along with being thankful. Now it's time to rejoin my regularly scheduled program. Okay. This is today and it happens to be Thursday, March 10, 2016. I'm glad to report that I am still learning. I'm not as happy about some of the things I learn, from time to time. Here's one I picked up on the other morning. Never scratch your head with the hand holding the flashlight when you are walking through the shop in the dark. After bumping into something I attempted to analyze what had happened. When the hand went up the flashlight went up with it. Don't do that! It reminded me of when I used to hold the flashlight for my grandfather when he was working on his pickup truck. He told me over and over again about how that me seeing wasn't important. The idea was to hold the light where he could see. History repeats itself. I've actually had our eldest tell me the exact same thing when he was working on my car. I said I was still learning. I didn't say at what speed. What? You would have thought by now I could have taken the training wheels off? That's a good observation but there's nothing like bumping into an immovable object to get your attention, get the light focused on the direction you want to go, and to also catalog another life lesson. I know. Many of you are thinking that if that had happened to you, you might not have shared it. I figure at this late date everything is in play. Well, maybe not everything. It took me months to decide to tell the one about me dozing off and falling out of my chair. I was impressed with how quickly I got up off the floor and back into my chair, as if nothing had happened. It's a wonder that didn't leave marks. There's likely some other little tidbits lurking out there but they will have to wait until another day.

I think to a certain extent all of us are drawn to self-deprecating humor. That's where one tells funnies on themselves. Mark Twain once said this about himself,  "I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up." Being able to poke fun at yourself is healthy for the most part. I know there are extremes where people are so over the top they end up portraying a sense of self loathing or even self hate. We don't need that. Maybe you have trouble telling stories on yourself. As a public service I found these examples that might trigger a memory you could use: ~ I walk two miles a day. One to the donut shop, and one home. ~   I was told at the doctor’s office that I should get a facelift. When the doctor saw me he agreed with those in the waiting room. ~ Exercise doesn’t kill you, but why take the chance? ~ I’m on that new “seafood” diet. If I see food, I eat it. ~     Do you know that feeling when you meet someone and you both just fall madly in love? Yeah, me neither. ~ They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have. My boss told me a robe and slippers wasn’t a good look for the office. ~ The cute fellow down at the theater always gives me discounted movie tickets. Senior discount. ~ I was complimented on my leather gloves the other day. I wasn’t wearing any. ~  I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right? ~ Someone asked if I knew a good plastic surgeon? Would I look like this if I did? ~ Wrapping this up, I really don't need a lot of help. In fact, I typically generate more material than I can share. All on my own. Pay attention because you might be funnier than you think.

I've found that in telling stories about myself the funniest ones are those that are true. That happens because they really are personalized. They belong to me. I was there when it happened. I've known some folks that loved to make jokes but typically they were always about someone else. They enjoyed poking fun at others. At times it was very close to ridicule and even had a hint of meanness included. They rarely if ever made fun of themselves. To me that's not even close to being humorous. Jesus could tell stories with a spiritual application but the imagery He used no doubt brought a chuckle. Like the one where He talks about a fellow trying to get a tiny splinter out of the other person's eye while carrying a huge boulder in his own eye. They didn't miss the point but I imagine they also had to smile. We've got a new senior's group in our local fellowship. We are named the Happy Hearts. Our chosen slogan is taken from Proverbs 17:22, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:..." I was telling a fellow how I didn't realize that I was eligible for a group like this, you know, just being close to 70 years young. He, a true diplomat, said that perhaps they thought I could learn something from the older folks in the group. We had a good laugh. See what I mean? It doesn't take much. Not much at all. May God bless each one. Amen. ....More later.

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