Cornucopia of Confusion!

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Cow. Cow who? Cows don't "who" they "MOO". Don't blame me, this is supposedly one of the top ten knock knock jokes as rated by Reader's Digest. At any rate, how in the world are you doing on this Wednesday, April 21, 2010? I am trying to be more spontaneous but I seem to be hampered by all the preparation. If that's not confusing I could say that things are more like they are today than they have ever been before. Or maybe you could use some advice this morning. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look very worried. I didn't say it would be great advice. Maybe something more profound: If it wasn't for the 'last minute', would anything ever get done? I guess it is appropriate for one to try and try again if at first you don't succeed, and then after that, just quit, because there's no use being a fool about it. Just kidding. One person signed their resignation letter this way: "I've run away to join another circus. " Life can be like a circus at times but it's the one we have, therefore, we need to, with God's help, to make the best of it that we can.

Experts tell us that the cost of funerals have soared by 50%. The blame? The high cost of living! This sounds fishy to me. I don't do well dealing with fractions, in fact, I'm not 1/2 as good as most people. Have you noticed that rarely do you find places where they still give a thumbs-up to hitchhiking? Or maybe something as bad as this quote from a man spared his nearing execution: "No noose is good noose." Then there are those perfectly good phrases suited for a bumper sticker but never used. "If I throw a stick, will you leave?" or "I started with nothing and still have most of it left." or "I'm not crazy, only in a bad mood for 30 years." or "Is it time for my medication or yours?" or "I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes." Cat lovers please don't send me angry letters, it's a joke. Remember this: Never complain about farmers with your mouth full of food. Or perhaps we all should learn to be more flexible since folks who are flexible tend not to get bent out of shape.

Life can be difficult but with God's help we learn that true happiness is an inside job. I will admit that today's blog is all over the place, all over the page, and mostly over the top. But it has been written to people who believe a balanced diet involves having a cookie in each hand or to those who find out their clear conscience is only due to their bad memory. Benjamin Franklin observed that while we all want to enjoy a long life, no one wants to be old. Today I decided to be like the diplomat who thinks twice before saying nothing. But I did put some thought into it and did some reading therefore I feel somewhat vindicated, it's that feeling I have when I take out the trash which somehow makes me feel like I've cleaned the entire house. Let me leave you with a final piece of wisdom for your consideration: Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, that way if he gets angry, you will be a mile away and he will be barefoot. Have a blessed day and may God give us all something to smile about, today! Amen. ......More later.