Friday, July 18, 2008

Don't Talk or Bark With Your Mouth Full!

Friday’s blog has been suspended due to inactivity, effective, July 18, 2008. Translation: I am off today to take care of some errands that are unable to be accomplished on Saturday. I was talking to a customer one day about his problems getting some drawings sent to us via email. He tried several times and when I later called him he said he had checked with their networking guy and had been informed their account had been suspended due to spam violations. I thought this was rather an odd thing to say and told him regardless of what kind of problem they were having perhaps it would be better not to tell people that particular answer. As it turned out their major networking provider had flagged their account in error during an upgrade.

I suppose I should appreciate the fellow’s honesty but at the same time I think he could have been a little less specific about the answer he gave. When he said what he said I immediately conjured up an image of a company caught flooding the internet with unwanted messages. He is a design engineer and that may not have even crossed his mind. Yesterday’s blog about headlines gives me a lead in regarding common ways of saying things that could lead to a misunderstanding. One of the classics is the Slow Men Working signs that you’ve heard me harp on before. This wouldn’t be so funny if typically the fellows near the sign were not actively engaged in doing exactly that: working slow.

Signs are pretty easy targets especially if you are not aware of the context. One on a toilet door in London said this: "Out of Order, Use Floor Below." An aspirin commercial had this tag line: "Nothing relieves headache pain faster than Bayer." I’m sure they did not mean to imply that taking nothing at all is the best way to reduce your headache pain but that’s exactly what the sentence says. How about this one: “Son, I’ll hold the nail, you hold the hammer. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.” Let’s hope the kid did not take his dad’s instructions literally or daddy would have been sporting some hammer marks on his head after nodding. Most of us have most likely heard about the sign in the washeteria that read: “Automatic Washing Machines; Be Sure and Remove All Your Clothes When the Light Goes Off.”

And we thought our grammar teachers were just trying to punish us! What about this one at the dry cleaners: “Anyone Leaving Garments Over 30 Days Will Be Disposed Of.” The store owner must not have been thinking when he put this sign up: “Why Go Elsewhere And Be Cheated When You Can Come Here.” Words do matter and we should know that not getting our point across clearly could lead to consequences. That’s pretty much it on this day where I am basically foot loose and fancy free. (I used to know the origin of that saying but I’ll have to get back to you on it.) One final one from that master word mangler himself, the late Groucho Marx, “ I shot an elephant in my pajamas…..how he got into my pajamas I’ll never know!” Have a great Saturday and Sunday. God willing I will see you at our next appointed time. God bless! Amen. …….More later.

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