I was ready with my waiter joke, ""Waiter!" shouted the furious diner, "How dare you serve me this! There is a twig in my soup!" My apologies Madam", replied the waiter, "I will immediately inform the BRANCH manager."

Brand new day. Brand new month. Brand new start. I think I better stop there before I get carried away on this Tuesday, May 1, 2018. Last Thursday evening I acted as a server for my wife's table at the ladies banquet held at our local fellowship. I had not acted in an official capacity as a waiter before. I had seven ladies to take care of at my table. Some 200 ladies were there that night. All the servers were volunteers. (Or, they had been volunteered.) I was on my feet for two hours and I came away with several thoughts. First of all, it was good to be able to do that work on behalf of my wife. Thankful to be physically able. And, it was work. Secondly, it made me feel for those older folks who regularly do this type of work. (I do think I will keep my day job.) Lastly, I could tell my wife felt honored. Anytime I can make her feel that way, well, it's a good thing. I will also tell you it made for a good night's sleep. I do believe my grandfather recommended a hard day's work to those having trouble sleeping at night. (Those trays with six plates of food on them were not only heavy but unwieldy as well. I could see myself splattering stuff all over the place. Thank God that didn't happen! Amen.)  For the record, there were a number of men serving who were much older than me. I did not see any mishaps among the twenty-plus fellows doing this work. My concern was the role model stuck in my mind. That was a vision of the world's oldest waiter played by Tim Conway.

Here is another story from my continuing chronicle of wildlife affairs. The other morning I was unlocking my truck and I noticed some movement going on in the ditch beside our house. I thought it must be a cat rolling around in the grass. Lots of movement. Maybe the cat caught a mole or something. It was working whatever it had pretty good. Good kitty. Suddenly, the supposed cat took off. Literally. As in flying. It was one of those nesting owls. He had something. That may have been the same one that caused me to spill my coffee that morning when I could feel the wind off the flapping wings. In my own front yard. I never knew I would become a wildlife reality series on my own turf. The other day I was standing outside talking on my cell phone to our youngest, Rodney. I looked up in the sky and about 1/4 mile away the sky was nearly black with buzzards. There must have been 30 or more of them circling something. I don't think I have ever seen that many at one time. Maybe they have opened a new road-kill buffet and they were all waiting to get in. I do hope whatever they were circling was big enough because I've seen them on the side of the road fighting over fragments. They get themselves all bowed up with their feathers and wings as wide and tall as they can. It's called intimidation. It kind of reminds me of when us six kids would sit down to eat. When the signal was given for us to dig in, well, it didn't take long to decimate whatever was being served. I may have been told a time or two to put some of what I had taken back. "There are others, son!"

I have shared another page from the book entitled, "It's my life and I will live it if I want to." Sorry. That was supposed to be a take-off on the 1963 hit by Lesley Gore that had this lyric, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to." It was an attempted pun-like metaphor. Lame. Perhaps. Oh well, it can get worse. Don't dare me. Just kidding around on this May day. If I had said 'mayday',  that could have indicated an aviation emergency. As when a plane is crashing. In my case, it would be a linguistic crash. A word collision. Yep. I am aware. That's a lot of what goes on in this space. I did see something I thought was interesting in a video posted on Facebook. This politician was at a local eatery and watering hole to make a pitch for his candidacy. He was standing up with a mike talking. Behind him was a huge TV screen. They didn't turn the big screen off. I wonder which one the folks were paying attention to? Those who showed up to hear him may have been listening to him. The others were glued to seeing which college football player was being selected by which NFL team. That was either unfair to him or bad timing on his part. Oh well, I know how he feels. Nearly every day. Still kidding around. Something I am sure of. God and His promises. I may be all over the page, but, He is always true to His word. I'm am thankful every day for that! Amen. .....More later.