"No, my friend, I am not drunk. It is that I have been to the dentist and I need not go again for six months. It is a beautiful thought." ~ Agatha Christie's character Hercule Poirot, quoted from her story, The Patriotic Murders

Hello and welcome. It is a good day in the neighborhood and this one happens to find itself being good on Wednesday, April 13, 2016. I've had to spend more time in a dental chair than I like over the past couple of months. I don't like to be incapacitated. Even for a few minutes. I'm hard pressed to give up control. This past Monday I was in the chair for a root canal. It went on, and on and on, and on. One hour and forty-five minutes. I came face to face with the old saying: fit to be tied. The dentist was working on my tooth which had been previously filled but after paying for the filling it was very excruciatingly clear that the problem had not been solved. In case you were wondering, there's no refund or rebate on the filling, just additional charges. Dental offices have become like mechanic shops. They analyze your situation and come back with a printout. You know what I am talking about. A printout with all the things needed to get things back on track. One thing I noticed. They like to use a lot of special characters in their printouts. Their favorite one is the dollar sign, $. At the end of my less than brief introduction to how modern torture is performed, they showed me an X-Ray and told me that one of the files had broken off. What? I didn't break it off. But, not to worry, it is rarely a problem. Rarely. The solution? Let's keep an eye on it because we have lots of paper on hand to do more printouts. I do appreciate the dentist who had his hands in my mouth for over an hour. Thanks for having very small hands. I'm sure that's an extra charge on the printout.

I heard about the fellow who went to see the dentist and it was determined the tooth would have to be pulled. They dabbed some anesthetic on it and pulled it out. It took about five minutes. When he went to pay he was shocked to see a bill for $500. He exclaimed, "Wow, $500 for five minutes of work?" The dentist overheard him and called out with this response, "Hey, we can make it last longer if that will make you feel any better." I know they have improved things some over the years. I had a previous root canal maybe 25 years ago and all I can say is the improvements weren't that noticeable. There's plenty of dental jokes out there. ~ I needed to have a root canal but I lost my nerve. ~ The fellow asked the dentist what he could do about his yellowed teeth. The dentist suggested that he wear a brown tie. ~ One more:  A patient sits in the dental chair with severely fractured front teeth. After discussing with the orthodontist how they will be restored and what the fee would be the patient says, ‘Before you start, I gotta know: Will I be able to play the clarinet when you are finished?’The dentist replies ‘Sure you will!’ The patient replies ‘Great, I couldn’t play a note before!’ Okay. I promise this is the last one and it is a golden oldie: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? He wanted to transcend dental medication. ~

I am thankful we have professionals who know how to respond when we are needing assistance. I can't get that picture of that file in my tooth off my mind. I'm actually walking around with a foreign object left to live in my tooth. I did look it up. On the internet. You do know that everything you read on the internet is true. You didn't know that? Where have you been? At any rate, I did confirm that it is rarely a problem, as in, not often or seldom. However, when it is a problem it typically requires the tooth to be extracted. The good news is how they can make a new one for you to replace it. I got the idea that one would require multiple printouts. You do know I'm for the most part sharing this little episode to highlight the humorous aspects. That wouldn't explain why the IRS called and asked if I wanted to add my dentist as a dependent. Just joking. After they finished their canal activity it took about five hours for the shots to wear off. I looked my abnormal-normal self to everyone but because of the nagging numbness I kept thinking I was Tim Conway from that famous dentist routine he did with Harvey Korman on the Carol Burnett Show. You know the one. If you don't, go to YouTube and find it. I dare you. It is an all time funny segment. That's it for today. Take care and enjoy the life God has given. May He be thanked for His grace, mercy, and love. Amen. ....More later.