Definition of Calories: Noun. Little creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Good Wednesday morning to one and all. It's another good day to bid you a hearty hello on this March 13, 2013. I consider myself to be at the least minimally tuned in when it comes to current events and culture. That doesn't mean that I am not surprised from time to time. I read about a performer at the Houston Rodeo who broke the all time attendance record. Nearly 78,000 people crammed into the arena to watch him sing. Here's the rub. I never once in my life heard of this fellow. Never. Not that it matters, but to tell you the truth, it kind of surprised me that I didn't have a clue. I know some of you want to know who it is. Bruno Mars. He's a pop, hip-hop, rap, rock, and whatever, all blended together performer. He obviously has a following and I did look him up and found out that he had won a number of major music awards. So there you have it. Here's what I know to be true. He is obviously famous to those who know and like his music. On the other hand, I'll just bet he has never ever heard of me either. So, there, we are even. It's always good when you can level these things out.

It's that even steven kind of outcome. You know. The one that balances everything out, as in: She thinks he doesn't do his share of the housework, while he says things are even steven. That's probably not the best example I could have chosen but it conveys the meaning. Most of the experts believe the phrase even steven came about for no other reason other than its rhyming, dated from the mid 1800's. It's not the only one that seeks to convey a message using a rhyme. Phrases like "drop dead fred", "see ya later alligator", "after while crocodile", or "know what I mean, jelly bean?" No wonder folks have trouble learning our language. You have to wonder what they think when they see they have to earn their stripes, and it should be easy as pie, and if they make a mistake they might end up having to eat their own words, and be so sad that they eat their heart out, or they have egg on their face, or worse yet, they end up eating crow, or maybe even eating humble pie. I suppose they could ask every Tom, Dick, and Harry because they will have everything but the kitchen sink thrown at them. Not easy folks. Not easy at all.

The experts tell us that clear communication means that we should avoid these colorful phrases like the plague. I suppose when I start observing that advice, I might as well throw in the towel, wash my hands, drop it like a hot potato, back down, bow out, knuckle under, and just give up and go with the flow. In other words: I don't think so. Have you had enough yet? Okay. Here's just a few more before I actually do give up the ghost on this one. ~ I keep my high horse tethered to my soap box for easy access. ~ My doctor warned me that my high sodium diet would lead to heart disease, but I always took that with a grain of salt. ~ It is a fact that tapioca tastes awful. The proof is in the pudding. ~ I could go on for a while, and, as you can tell, I do get a kick out of playing around with words. And, I seem to get carried away with it from time to time. Therefore, I leave you today with the wonderful closing farewell that Count Basie used at the end of his musical performances: "I'm saying: to be continued, until we meet again. Meanwhile, keep on listening and tapping your feet." See ya! And, may God bless each one. Amen.  ....More later.