The very elderly lady informed her attorney that she wanted to be cremated and her ashes scattered at Walmart. Puzzled, he asked why. She said that at least her children would visit her twice a week.

Here we are again and I bid you a hearty hello and a warm welcome emanating here at the blogger ranch on this Thursday, May 10, 2012. While I am not fanatically frugal I certainly am not in favor of being wasteful. I am especially that way when it comes to any left over coffee. I always consume any that is left over from the prior day before I make a new pot. I add a little water to each cup and then use the microwave to get it piping hot. My little hand painted granddaughter Lexie cup can handle the heat. Two minutes and 29 seconds, exactly. This past Tuesday morning I went about that same routine but not with the same results I had expected. When I opened the microwave door a bug flew out of it and into my face, I already had the cup in my hand. Startled, I splattered it everywhere, including on my hand. Ouch! I need to make a note for my doctor. I don't think I will be needing any heart check-ups anytime soon. What a way to start the day! Once I calmed down I noticed I still had a little less than half a cup left so all was not lost. What was that little bug thinking? Maybe he thought it was a spa. Or, perhaps he just likes to see little old men do the scaredy-cat dance at 4:30 in the morning.

Maybe that bug was showing out for his bug buddies. I know we used to do some pretty stupid things as teenagers to try and impress each other. The thought of a bunch of bugs sitting over on the window sill watching my antics and laughing their little tails off, well, at least we don't have video evidence. I don't know exactly what I must have looked like for that few seconds but thank the Lord it will not be showing up on Facebook or YouTube anytime soon. I actually do surprise myself from time to time with my own foolishness. Talk about material! Talk about not sharing most of it! What's that? You rarely ever do anything that would make you laugh at yourself? How sad. In fact, I can't think of anything more sad, because I can assure you that I provide plenty of opportunities on my own, often in private, where about the only response I can conjure up is a big old belly laugh. Laughter is a gift and I believe it should be actively used as a way of breaking the monotony of life. And, I am certainly not talking about the trash that parades itself on the airwaves as humor. I just don't get it. The way I see it, it would require major peer pressure to see people laugh at the vulgar stuff coming from today's so called comedians. No wonder they encourage drinking before their shows. Meanwhile, back at the blogger ranch, I suppose God designed it where I'll be making up my own funny scripts as I go about my day by day living, and I kind of like it that way.

That was not my first time to be scared by a bug but I will tell you that I never, ever, expected to have one come at me from the microwave. I am not fond of insects that land on me, crawl on me, or buzz in my ear. And I certainly don't like any of the above to occur when I am least expecting it. The other day I had one of those black wasp looking things on the inside of my driver's side window. He was all agitated and appeared to be very unhappy about being imprisoned in my car. I wasn't all that happy about it myself. What do you do? Roll down the window. Of course! I did. The crazy outfit hung on. He wouldn't leave. Next thing I knew I was a little bit over the line and the car coming towards me decided that was not in our mutual interest. But, when I swerved back into my lane, he let go, and went on his way, and I went on my way, and the other people had opportunity to complain about old folks like me continuing to be given a driver's license. So, see, there was something there for everyone.Those little creatures sure do make life exciting. What? Remind me not to offer you a ride in my car? Now, that would be an overreaction. But, it does make for interesting days and I'm sure you have your own stories to tell. Hopefully those that don't involve near head on collisions. Only kidding. I'm pretty sure they had plenty of room in the ditch on their side. Still kidding. My wife will not think it as funny, but why not laugh, it will do a body good. Have a great day and may God bless. Amen.   ....More later.