Mary had a little lamb, its fleas were white as snow!

I think everyone is aware by now that I am a word person. Using words is one of my passions. Overusing them is perhaps one of my faults and misusing them one of my habits. I love word play and was a fan of Archie Bunker primarily because of the malapropisms he came up with each week. "I got bigger fish to fly." The technical definition of a malapropism is where someone chooses a similar sounding word instead of the correct word and what comes out is usually quite humorous. Yogi Berra is known for this very thing. He once commented on the power of larger states in electing a president. He said that states like Texas sure did have a lot of electrical votes. Of course he meant electoral votes but it is certainly funnier the way he said it. It was Yogi, after all, that gave us this wise advice: "Always go to other people's funerals or they won't come to yours." It is Friday, January 20, 2012, and this is what I have on my mind for today's edition. Children have a natural ability to play in the word game. Ark Linkletter shared many wonderful insights into how children view the world. He shared this one from a little girl: "A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population." One student shared this jewel on their test: "The US Constitution was adopted to secure domestic hostility." There's plenty of hostility that has been secured but not so much tranquility. Maybe they were on to something!

Here's some word definitions I found for women. I have observed that the ladies do look at things just a wee bit different than us guys. Argument:  A discussion that occurs when you're right, and continues until he realizes it. Airhead: An act you put on when pulled over for speeding. Blonde jokes: Jokes short enough for men to understand. Clothes dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Diamond: Something you think should be on your finger but he can only see in a baseball park. Eternity: The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise: Walking up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair dresser: A magician who creates a hair style you can never duplicate. Hardware store: Similar to a black hole in space: once he goes in, he isn't coming out any time soon. Housework: Work around the house including moping and washing dishes. Childbirth: You go through 36 hours of excruciating contractions. He is content to hold your hand and say, "focus ... breathe... push...." Patience: The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also the entry under "tranquilizers." Waterproof mascara: Mascara that comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but not when you try to remove it. Valentine's Day: A day when you dream of a candle light dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card. ~ I found these on a language joke website. They were unattributed as to their authors. We laugh but we do know that God made us differently and that was His intention. I know we would have a better world if we all embraced His plan and purpose for His created human family. Amen.

It's no wonder we end up at times being confused. We are bombarded with contradictions day in and day out. Silence is golden but we are told it is the squeaky wheel that gets the oil. You are never too old to learn although it is well known that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Clothes make the man but never judge a book by its cover. Great starts make great finishes but always remember it ain't over til it's over. Birds of a feather flock together but opposites attract. Good things come to those who wait but he who hesitates is lost. Okay. I'm getting weary from all of this and I know you are too. It has been a very challenging week but most of them are and that's something we all have in common. One thing I can remind us of is that God is always faithful. As the song puts it: "My Redeemer is faithful and true. Everything He has said He will do, And every morning His mercies are new. My Redeemer is faithful and true." I remember a preacher once who was so excited about a particular verse he found. It is from Psalm 139 where the writer declares in verse 12: "Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You." He was excited because this tells us that God sees all the time the same. In our darkest hour, He sees it all just like He does in the brightest sunlight. The night and day, the light and the dark, they are all the same to Him. That preacher found great comfort in knowing that our God sees in the dark and perhaps we can also. Now it's time to say so long for now but I pray that you will have a good Saturday and Lord's Day Sunday, and we will see you, Lord willing, next Monday, bright and early. Amen.         .....More later.