"How hot is it? I'm not sure but I think my T-shirt just died."

Hello again. I do hate to be a broken record and I know people use that term without ever having played a record, or seeing one that has a defect causing it to repeat over and over. I have played them many times, therefore, when I use it as a metaphor, be assured it is based on real life experience. But it is Monday, July 25, 2011 and I woke up ready to saddle up and ride my high horse for a few minutes. You already know what I think of the weather forecasting business. Best job security in the world. Guess at it, miss it, hit it, any and everything in-between, it's supposed to be a beautiful day but everyone gets wet, yet the weather person gets to come back in the next day and go at it again. A new report indicates that to be a federal employee means that you have a greater chance of dying than losing your job. Out in the real world the job market turns over about 3.5% of folks each year. Looking at some of the largest agencies within the Federal Government, that rate drops to 0.3%. Move over weather people, we have a new job security winner! Here's a good one. When asked about this number, one of the department heads said it just shows the excellent caliber of the people they have working in these agencies. But, that's not even what I am stirred up about. It is the persistent, incessant alarm sounded by the economist class who read the weekly reports and respond with: Unexpected, surprising, no one saw it coming, puzzling, confusing, and it goes on and on and on. Let me see if I have this right? Many of these people carry a doctorate degree around to prove their membership in the club. How in heaven's name, especially since President Obama took office, can every iota of every time any negative report shows up, and believe me, there have been plenty of them, and all they can say is it is all so unexpected? Happened again last Friday on the unemployment figures. Give me a break, already. And, for those who missed it, one congressman who is not surprised at all and  takes a contrary view on the way in which conventional wisdom says we should pursue an economic recovery, was challenged by a notable liberal TV host with a question intended to put him in his place: "Sir, do you happen to have a degree in economics?" The clear and direct response: "Yes I do, from Duke University, with honors!" He, by the way, is not puzzled by the continuing weakness of our economy because he thinks under this administration we are not even on the road marked recovery. Therefore, on this page, on this day, I now change the all time job security award and give it to the economists who live in a perpetual world of surprise, surprise, surprise. Now I feel better. Thanks for hearing me out.

I read the other day that one of the shortest lived awards is the one that recognizes people as the oldest living person in the world. That's some kind of sad irony, don't you think? Here's the good news: You are now the recognized oldest living person. The not so good news: You will not be holding on to this award much longer. That's based on the average time of death of those awarded this distinction. I mean, think about it, this sounds much worse than it is. You reach 113, 114, or 115, I mean, what is the next big thing that will most likely happen to you soon? That's right. The same thing that happened to the person who had the party before you did. If I were to make it to 115, that gives me another 50 years to write my blogs each day. What's that you say? They probably don't have a blog input device that works like a clapper. Not funny and who's to say I would even need one of those? Please don't get the idea I am becoming obsessed with becoming older, elderly, a senior citizen, an old fuddy duddy, or maybe one who is past it. No. I hardly even notice my age or pay attention to that old joke from long ago that still rings in my head, "It used to be wine, women, and song, but now it's Metracal, same old gal, and sing along with Mitch." Joking only. We already have a fire permit for my next birthday cake.

I remind my younger friends that most of the references I use that you've never seen are legitimate. They existed in a time and in a galaxy far, far away. Never heard of Metracal? Google it. Never heard of 'Sing along with Mitch'? Google it. Takes seconds and you can actually learn a thing or two. The Old Time Radio channel has been playing shows with a Christmas theme for their Christmas in July promotion. Many of those Christmas programs done in the 1940's were in your face sentimental tear jerkers. They reflect a time when the simple things of life appealed to people. "It's A Wonderful Life", was released in 1946, (the year I was born). It also puts this mood coming out of World War II into some perspective. I know there are folks who had troubles back then just like folks have troubles today. But, there is something about that kindred spirit, that feeling, that home sweet home, I'll be home for Christmas mindset that stirs your heart, or at least it does mine. All of it brought to you by the makers of Pepsodent, Jello, Royal Pudding, Lucky Strike, Rinso, and so many more. Even those commercial jingles usually sung by a live male harmony quartet were memorable. But that was yesterday, and today is today, and I had better get back to my rat killing if I am going to make progress towards that 115. Does anyone know whatever happened to Geritol? It was supposed to work wonders with a malady called tired blood. See you next time and may God bless each one. Amen.          ......More later.