Speaking from experience: Old dudes become more skittish as they slip and slide their way through life!

It is Wednesday, October 7, 2009 and I am here to tell you that growing older is no tiptoe through the tulips. You have all the unwelcome ailments that show up and overstay their visit. You have the stereotypes where folks treat a little white hair like you have fallen and can’t get up. Some of us hear things that are not there while others can’t hear what is there. As for me, I often find myself to be the source of so much comedic material but typically keep most of it locked away. Lately I have been on a skittish kick full of surprises but some that also brings a smile, later, after the fact, of course.

The other day when my main computer was sick, I was all alone working in the very early hours of the morning on the shop office PC when a family of raccoons showed up and attacked the trashcan just outside the door. I knew about these pesky little pests. I had seen the results of their foraging expeditions strewed all over the place. Yet, I was not expecting them to show up when they did and I was unprepared for the assault that took place. Wham! Bam! Slam! I must have jumped about three feet straight into the air. I think they used the lid for a Frisbee because it slammed on the concrete floor. As I was levitating in mid-air I regained my composure recognizing what was happening. Trying to calm down and catch your breath all at the same time while trying to make a safe landing can be very taxing.

On another recent occasion I was reaching down to move a door holder on the ground while opening the main shop when something attached itself to my arm. I don’t know if there is a record for how quickly one can get to 200 beats per minute of heart rate or if there is a record for how far one can throw a flashlight but I’m certainly an honorable mention in both categories. I flicked whatever it was off and kept on trucking. Never knew what it was but if he/she or it was as startled as I was there are stories being told everywhere. Then finally, one morning I was walking through the dark shop. One of the guys had left his radio on and I guess when I came by my body must have become like an antenna because that thing let loose and I again did my best version of an untrained high jumper straight up in the air. Old people. They are some funny folks, don’t you think? I can laugh now but I will assure you that none of these incidents were funny at the time. Sadly, these are but a few examples of the experiences locked away that tell the story of old Sixty-Plus as he continues his sojourn here on the planet. Best to laugh with me because if you are not already a member, you too will someday join our group! May God bless each one. Amen. ….More later.