“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” ― George Washington

It took me a while to snap to it, but, I think I found the reason I am dragging around a bit the past couple of days. Time Change. Don't you love it when you can find a really good reason to blame stuff on? A friend of ours got to his preacher one time when he too had come up with a really good excuse. The preacher had talked about people fumbling around for excuses when he talked with them and the preacher said why not just tell me you couldn't make it because you had a banana in the refrigerator. About a year later, the preacher told my friend he had been missing him at the men's prayer time. My friend looked him straight in the eye and blurted out, "Yep, couldn't make it. I had a banana in the refrigerator." My friend told me it was obvious the preacher had forgotten that one. Time Change. Banana in the refrigerator. It's Tuesday, November 5, 2019, and I am granting everyone permission to use these as much as they feel the need. Speaking about Church-related excuses, it reminds me of the number one hit gospel song back in 1981 from the Kingsmen Quartet:

Chorus:
Excuses, Excuses
You hear them every day
Now the devil he'll supply them if in church you stay away
When people come to worship God, the devil always loses
So to keep those folks away from church, he offers them excuses

Spoken Verse 1
Well in the summer it's too hot
In the winter it's too cold
In the springtime when the weather's just right, you find some place else to go
Well it's up to the mountains or down to the beach or to visit some old friend
Or just stay home and kinda relax and hope some of the kinfolks start droppin' in

Spoken Verse 2
Well those church benches; they're too hard
And that song leader's way too loud
Well you know how nervous you get when you're sittin' in a great big crowd
Now the doctor told you to watch them crowds, they'll set you back
But you go to that ol' ball game 'cause they say it helps you to relax

Spoken Verse 3
Well a headache Sunday morning
And a backache Sunday night
But by work time Monday morning, you're feeling quite all right
Well one of the children has a cold, pneumonia do you suppose?
Why, the whole family has to stay home! (Just to blow that poor kid's nose)

Chrous
Excuses, Excuses
You hear them every day
Now the devil he'll supply them if in church you stay away
When people come to worship God, the devil always loses
So to keep those folks away from church, he offers them excuses

To keep those folks away from church, he offers them excuses!

For those unfamiliar with Southern Gospel that likely sounds like a rather silly little song, but, it did sell a lot of records as most country Church going folks could certainly identify with its sentiments.

When I worked as a senior manager I heard some really good excuses. One of the things I really detested was when folks would join in to help someone come up with a good excuse. Here is a list of supposed recent ones reported: ~ Employee’s 12-year-old daughter stole his car and he had no other way to get to work. He didn’t want to report the theft to the police for fear his daughter would get a criminal record. ~ Employee said a refrigerator fell on him. ~ Employee’s sobriety device wouldn’t allow him to start his car. ~ Employee forgot he was hired for the job. ~ Employee was in line at a coffee shop when a truck transporting flour backed up and dumped the flour into her convertible. ~  Employee said a deer bit him during hunting season. ~ Employee claimed her bus was delayed, before producing a handwritten note 'signed' by the bus driver. ~ Employee mistakenly thought she had won the lottery. ~ Employee fell out of bed and broke his nose. ~ Employee claimed her dog was having a mental breakdown. ~ Employee accidentally flushed their car keys down the toilet. ~ Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife. ~ Employee ate too much at a party and needed a day off to digest. ~ Employee said he had to help deliver a baby on the way to work. ~  Employee said an escaped buffalo from a game reserve kept charging at her every time she tried to go to her car from her house. ~ Employee had a bad case of the hiccups. ~ Employee said a skunk had gotten into his house and sprayed all of his uniforms. ~ That's about half of them, but, I think you get the idea. The final one was a real doozy, 'Employee forgot they were getting married today.'

I most likely have the best ones I heard written in one of my journals, somewhere. From the time Adam pointed his finger at Eve there has always been the tendency for people to shift the blame or find an excuse for their situation. Don't get me wrong, some folks report reasons, not excuses. Like the time a fellow who was to make a presentation for my team ran late. I famously made the comment he had better have a good excuse and he did. He was found dead in his hotel room from a massive heart attack. That, by the way, has always been my best example of a valid excuse. For now, I think the Time Change will do although we all know it does have a short shelf life. While I was working on this blog I did find websites actually set up to help people come up with good excuses. I guess someone might come up with one like this, "I haven't really gotten my excuse yet because the internet is down." I had a young guy who worked for me many years ago who would put it to me this way, "If the weather is good on Monday I will most likely call in sick. If it stays rainy, I'll be here." He was only half kidding. I have no other excuse for today's blog other than it was all I could come up with. Have a great rest of the day and may God bless. Amen. .....More later.