“Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?” ― Phyllis Diller

Good morning and welcome to the life and times of a man dealing with all the issues faced in life while his wife is away helping to care for his mother. It's Tuesday, April 4, 2017. Welcome. After Church on Sunday, I determined to get caught up on my chores. These are not typically 'my' chores but with the domestic goddess gone for nine days now, the voice of necessity crying in the wilderness had to be answered. There's always decisions to be made. Do I make the bed or do I make the bed look like something was done to it? I started the latter but ended up having to make it anyway after making such a mess out of the fake deal. Got all the dishes washed. I think I did about four loads of clothes. Washing, drying, hanging them up, folding, putting them away. Whew! When I talked to her on the phone at about 5 p.m. and told her I needed someone to come in to help me with all of my tasks, she couldn't help herself. I get how she let out a huge LOL, but did she have to add the loud sound effects? Well, thank you very much. When I was doing the clothes I noticed that a lot of them were hers. Before I could even think about it, it dawned on me. Every time she does the clothes a lot of them are mine. Man! I hate it when it works out like that. I couldn't help but think, where did all these towels come from? What do these grandkids think we are running here? Some kind of motel or what? Sorry. Just trying to get the hang of my inner domestic mindset. Get it right. I was not trying to get in touch with my feminine side. Whatever in the world that means.

I know she will get a kick out of reading about my travails. She reads my blogs when she gets up and typically sends me a note afterwards. She is very well aware how much she is missed. Not just by our immediate family but she has a wide circle of friends and they too are missing her being here. She, however, is conflicted. She knows she is needed at home but she also sees a need for assistance in mom's situation. I am glad that she is sensitive to the needs of others, especially when it comes to my mom. Meanwhile, I will soldier on, so to speak. I think we've just about warmed up everything at the house that can be warmed up. I probably need to drop by the store and pick up a few things. I've been saying that for several days now. Navigating the traffic on the way home is not so easy. I think I had several other pretty decent excuses but they escape me at this particular time. I'll have to check my excuse book. I've been meaning to index that resource to make it easier to use. No. I do not have an excuse book. Not a printed one. Is there a file labeled as such somewhere upstairs in my noggin? I can't be 100% sure but honesty compels me to say I wouldn't put it past me.

She did cook a meal while I was there last Saturday. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. You don't have to wonder if I enjoyed it or not. She even had made banana pudding for dessert. That's my girl! If it is true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, she has a whole lot longer of a journey in my current condition than she did a few years ago. As my grandfather would have said it, "Son, looks like you've swollen up since the last time I saw you." He did not have the gift of subtlety. I can't be sure exactly what has caused this recent weight gain. It's like I crossed a threshold of some kind. I'm working on a list of suspects right now. I think I've used the Santa Claus needs a belly already. According to the online version of Prevention Magazine, here are the 6 lamest excuses people use for not doing something about it, 1) I'm too busy. 2) Healthy food is too expensive. 3) Diets make me hungry. 4) I don't have time to cook. 5) Exercise makes me too tired. 6) I always gain the weight back. I didn't read all the solutions that followed each of these excuses because my eyes were tired. I do need to think some about each of them to see if any of them ring a bell with me. Thanks for showing up today. It's time for a short break. Does anyone know if there's any of the banana pudding left? See you next time and may God bless us all. Amen. ....More later.