Thursday, June 11, 2015

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." ~ Mitch Hedberg

I was either (a) practicing my concerned look or (b) looking for my great grand!
Yes. Time for us to move on out and get with the program here on this Thursday, June 11, 2015. I won't call any names but you know who I am talking to. Not really. I just threw that one in. Thinking back on that white legs story, I now recall the wife looking me over before we left home for the picnic. She had that look of inquiring minds want to know and she asked, "Are you wearing that?" Let me see if I can put this together. We were getting ready to leave. She was ready. Our little Madi girl was ready but I'm the only one who was asked that question. I didn't give it much thought until after the grand reception that was given to my legs. Here's the funny part. I've most likely been on the other side of the good-natured heckling, but, when I was the heckler I never even considered that one day I might be the object of the heckling. (The photo above does not show the evidence for the calamity brought on by my white legs, but, the collage program couldn't handle looking at them either. Sorry.) What's that? I could save myself a lot of grief by just wearing jeans or slacks? Thanks for your observations. Or, here's a thought. I could get the wife to spray paint some of that fake tan stuff that she uses whenever she goes to the beach and wants people there to think that she goes there often even though she hasn't been there in years. You do know I'm joking. Not about the fake tan spray. Just about the other. Can anyone see her? Is she laughing? Let's all hope so. For my sake. Amen.

When I am no longer here at the ole blogger ranch workstation, if I am able, I will likely be with the wife walking forth and back around and around the inside confines of the big mall. I can assure you from firsthand observation the fellows there could form a white legs association. I would feel right at home. They likely also speak my language. You know the one I'm talking about. You hear a lot of huh or a request that you repeat what was just said. Things like that remind me of why the hair and beard are naturally white. I will admit to losing a grip on my age from time to time. I forget my true age. The other day I had to go to a place and pick up some special glass that had been cut for our company. It was thick and it had wire mesh in it. The young fellow there looked me over and asked if I wanted him to carry that stack out to the truck. I looked him over and said I didn't think I would require his services. (It was one of those Gunsmoke meet you out in the street kind of moments.) I grabbed hold of that two foot stack of glass and it grabbed hold of me. I most likely looked a lot like Tim Conway doing the stutter step of his old man impersonation as I wobbled towards the door. Okay. So it was heavy. But, I made it. Barely. Next time I might take him up on his offer for assistance. But, then again, I might not.

It is funny because as you can tell I am my own source of material. It is also a true story. But, I will try to do better as I continue my journey here on the planet. What's that you say? One would hope. Speaking of hope, while this world has little of it to offer, our Great God is the God of hope. Not a hope so kind of hope, but rather, an assurance of His care, His presence, and the certainty of His promises. We know from The Book that it is impossible to please God unless we exercise faith. We must believe He exists, and as a result we seek Him knowing that He will accomplish all that He has said He will do. (My interpretative paraphrase of that marvelous verse from Hebrews Chapter 11, Verse 6) The words to that beloved hymn written in 1834 came to my mind: "My hope is built on nothing less Than Jesus Christ, my righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; All other ground is sinking sand, All other ground is sinking sand." Notice the song writer said that He, (Jesus Christ), is my righteousness. Knowing me, myself, and I, all too well, makes that statement alone such a tremendous source of hope for me. And, He can be your hope as well. Amen. ....More later.

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